| Watch Charlie Sheen here live on “Sheen’s Korner” on Ustream (10pm ET) UPDATE: We’re liveblogging Posted: 05 Mar 2011 06:40 PM PST We have no idea what Charlie Sheen is going to do during this live Webcast being billed as “Sheen’s Korner” airing at 7pm PT on Ustream (which he has been pimping all day on Twitter), but then again do we ever know what he’s going to do at this point? In the immortal words of Hawk Harrelson, everyone sit back, relax and strap it down. After it’s over be sure to tell us what you think. UPDATE: We are now live-blogging with Guyism founding editor Chris Spags. Winning? Uh..sure. -So it’s 10:22PM Eastern now and the first twenty minutes of this show included decades old Internet photos of cats punching dogs in the face, Charlie Sheen rambling and saying nothing interesting, Sheen cronies yelling “winning” randomly for no reason, and five minutes of them watching things on Charlie’s computer. I hate Charlie Sheen, myself, and you for watching this. -10:24PM: They are now doing viewer questions or something. Sheen Crony 1 who’s wearing the same stupid hat as Charlie (I think it’s his assistant Rick?) just asked what Charlie thinks about the iPad 2 coming out so soon after the iPad. Charlie seems to be hearing this for the first time. The only insightful tech information you want from a guy who was pounding grams of coke daily just weeks ago is how much your old Nintendo can get at the local pawn shop. -10:28PM: Charlie Sheen literally cannot finish a story. And he randomly emphasizes the last word in every sentence or puts on a silly voice. He kind of talks like a Valley Girl who, instead of cheerleading, pounded rocks, Marlboros, and vats of prostitutes’ vaginal lubricants. -10:30PM: Sheen just chastised one of his crew for speaking. Then he said duh. This exact interaction has happened at least fifteen times thus far. -10:31PM: Charlie now closes every sentence with “Losing? No. Duh. Winning.” This catchphrase is getting like Chinese water torture. -10:33PM: They’re now saying “Gnarls Gnarlington” over and over again. I might just be a comedic snob, but this reminds me of The Situation trying really hard to get over the new catchphrase “land mines” on “Jersey Shore”. It also reminds me of Rob Schneider’s “Makin’ Copies” character. Really great company for Chaz and crew. -10:36PM: The Goddess on hand is now reading things that fall under the umbrella of Charlie Sheen’s new “plan better” mantra. One of them was about scrotums getting stuck in the zipper of men’s pants. It was about as funny as a family celebrating the birthday of its recently deceased child. -10:38PM: Viewers have plummeted from 120,000 when the show went live to 95,000. The biggest sin of this is that Sheen and co. are extremely boring. I’m tempted to just delete our article on Why Charlie Sheen Is A Hero to Men at this point. -10:44PM: “Two and a Half Men” could have had a very special episode in which Jon Cryer gave urban teens abortions with his teeth and it wouldn’t lose viewers as quickly as this Ustream. Down to 92,000. -10:45PM: Charlie Sheen just reused the “resentments are the rocket that fuel the tip of my sabre” line but, fortunately, admitted it wasn’t off the cuff. The crew lost a bit of respect at that. -10:46PM: “We’ve just run out of material,” said Sheen. That could have been uttered fifty minutes ago and we’re only forty six minutes in. -10:48PM: I wish we could add a new quote to our Charlie Sheen quote repository. That quote being, “And now I’m going to kill myself to atone for the hour of your life lost.” I’m crossing my fingers. -10:49PM: Someone just farted. And no one commented on it. That was like a life raft and they just cut it like one of Charlie’s lines of cocaine. -10:49PM: Just noticed Charlie Sheen is drinking an unlabeled bottle of green liquid. If that is the ooze from Ninja Turtles, I’m back on board. Or if it’s cyanide. Is liquid cyanide green? I hope so. -10:50PM: Charlie Sheen is now just rereading his own quotes. They become less and less charming the longer this drags out. -10:51PM: Someone trolled Charlie on Ustream saying that, judging by this show, Charlie himself needs to plan better. Sheen replied by saying, “Well, all these people are watching it. We’re not watching you!” That comeback is the celebrity equivalent of, “Nuh uh!” -10:52PM: Charlie just read a poem of his and the stream viewers dropped by 3K. I have a newly found faith in America thanks to that. -10:53PM: The stream closes during the point in which Charlie was saying goodbye. An utterly incompetent end to a horrendously executed idea. Chuck Lorre could respond by doing a Ustream of title cards that consist entirely of his bowel movements splashed on a page and it would be less of an affront to entertainment than this. I apologize that this last-minute liveblog was so miserable but there was nothing to work with, at all. Either way, I’m glad we could suffer together. |
| Guyism After Dark: Drew, Kylie, or Megan??? Posted: 05 Mar 2011 03:00 PM PST |
| VIDEO: Bobby Knight has no need for “chickensh– defense” Posted: 05 Mar 2011 09:49 AM PST The Bobby Knight soundboard just added some new audio when the coach dropped a “chickensh– defense” reference on Gameday this afternoon. Thankfully, for ESPN, Rece Davis was kind enough to apologize to all the fans watching. Because, you know, there was no way the General was apologizing for swearing on live TV. That’s beneath him. Video via @bubbprog (a must-follow for any sports fan): |
| What’s hot this week in men’s fashion, gadgets, and gear Posted: 05 Mar 2011 09:30 AM PST This weekly feature is a round-up, in conjunction with our friend Tim over at CoolMaterial.com of the hot new products appearing online this week. From fashion to gadgets, take a look at your new obsessions. Parking Tickets Booklet Put all those dbag parkers in their place (or at least make yourself feel a little better) with these Parking Tickets. Each "citation" is a clever accosting of your target's ability – or inability – to park. |  The World’s Strongest Beers While we've dabbled in beers that have hovered around 10% alcohol by volume, those brews are like sipping O'Doul's compared the world's strongest beers. |  Converse Chuck Taylor Clean Crafted Collection The high tops basketball icons of yore are done up in soft, svelte (yet always rugged) brown leather. | 3D Screw Mural Portraits Composed almost entirely of screws (numbering well into the thousands) affixed at different depths, each three dimensional portrait is a true work of art and represents a dedication to the DIY craft that we just don't have – without serious prodding of course. | Road Bike Decal & Handlebar Hook The decal goes on the wall like a Carmelo Anthony Fathead and the handlebar hook simply gets mounted at the top. It's the most original use of a silhouette since the opening of James Bond. | Paintball Robot Depending on how much Tim "The Toolman" Taylor you have in your blood, you too can build one of Chris Rogers' Paintball Robots. |  The Toilet Paper With The Toilet Paper, an email digest that's perfect for 10-15 minute "meetings," you can learn an incomprehensibly large amount of otherwise useless things about Diet Coke, Charlie Sheen and golf. |  Booqpad iPad2 Folio With the Booqpaq, your as-of-yet-unreleased iPad2 can be sweetly cradled within Nappa leather available in a number of different colors – right next to a 50 sheet A5 notebook. | |
| Adriana, Candice, Erin, and Chanel are really, really good at selling lingerie Posted: 05 Mar 2011 08:00 AM PST |
| Indian Aunties In saree Boob show Posted: 05 Mar 2011 08:32 PM PST
|
No comments:
Post a Comment