VIDEO: Death is always cold and cruel, but in games back in the day, even more so |
| VIDEO: Death is always cold and cruel, but in games back in the day, even more so Posted: 27 Mar 2011 10:28 AM PDT Here’s a look back at how we all used to die. A lot. If there’s one thing that’s firmly illustrated above is how death used to be far more in your face and final. Now, when we bite the virtual bullet, it’s just a minor annoyance, as well as the cue to start impatiently jamming those buttons till you re-spawn. Death also used to suck a lot more cuz it was your cue to insert another quarter as well. Gaming might be less exciting, but it’s at least a bit cheaper. Classic Arcade Game Deaths [Boing Boing] |
| 7 signs the woman in your life is certifiably crazy Posted: 27 Mar 2011 05:00 AM PDT
Since we crank out so many stories each week some really good ones get lost in the cracks. And since so many new people visit Guyism every day (thank you), we thought we’d start taking some time on the weekends to share some classics that many of our newer readers may have missed. Ask any guy about the history of his dating life, and he’ll have at least one story about that one batshit nuts girl that they spent some time with. It’s easy to get sucked into a fling with a crazy girl — some guys will be fooled by good looks, others may even be attracted to the craziness. But if experience tells us anything, it’s not a wise move to stick with a crazy chick for very long. Scars, both emotional and physical, are a very real risk when dealing with crazies. If you’re confused as to what to look for in order to spot a crazy girl, read on. And beware. 7 She constantly talks about changing her appearance to look like a character 6 She quotes things from your profile before you become Facebook friends 5 Demanding a specific kind of food at odd hours 4 She cites “amateur gunslinger” as one of her hobbies 3 She blacks out uncontrollably every time she drinks 2 She knows how to speak a made up language 1 Gets into physical fights with everyone around her — including you |
Ok, maybe there’s nothing wrong with aspiring to look like a celeb. But when you meet a girl that can’t stop talking about how much she wants to look like Angelina Jolie in “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”, it might be time to ask a few questions. For example: why is she so obsessed with looking like a fictitious character? Is she practicing becoming a trained killer as well? People like this have a very loose grip on reality. You’re better off leaving this one before you become a casualty of the movie in her mind. 
Social media can be a wonderful thing. It also adds a valuable new tool to any and all potential stalkers out there. If your new girl comments on how she saw you wearing that shirt in a profile picture from a few months back, pay heed. If she’s put this much effort into stalking you this early on, and doesn’t seem to see anything wrong with it, think about what it would be like being in a long term relationship with her. You don’t want to have to explain pictures you took during freshman year to a fuming girlfriend. 
We get it, people get hungry all the time. But there’s no reason to have a near blood lust for steak at 11 in the morning and throwing a tantrum when it isn’t fulfilled. There just isn’t. Such a voracious appetite may seem appealing at first; but again, take a look at the long run. Also it would probably help to picture her standing over a dead animal carcass with blood dripping from her mouth. You should run pretty soon. Hey, better some animal than you. 
Seriously dude, this one is a no brainer. Yes, ladies with guns can be sexy. You know what else is sexy? Not being afraid of getting shot by a pissed off girlfriend. If she occasionally goes to the range and pops off a few rounds this is a scary thing. This isn’t a videogame, dating a borderline sociopath packing heat wherever she goes is pretty high on the list of “Stupid Decisions that Will Get Me Killed”.
We’ve all blacked out once or seventeen times in our lives, it’s as natural as the phases of the moon. But if your girl can’t open up a bottle of Zima without getting all wastey face then you may have a problem. One second everyone’s having a great time slugging down a few by the bar, the next your girlfriend is doing a striptease to “Kiss Me” and it’s only 9:30. The worst part is if you try to say something, she’ll violently insist that she’s not drunk, and prove it by slugging down a few more Jager Bombs. Good luck with all that. 
Nerds, you may have some qualms with this item on the list, but for everyone else this is pretty straight forward. Put it this way, long after you go to bed, she’s studying how to conjugate Elvish verbs. If your girl can tell you that you’re being a really terrible boyfriend in the language of the Na’vi, then your only real option here is to learn how to say hit the road–and promptly put your newfound skill to use. 
There is nothing, NOTHING, crazier than a girl who can just snap and try to deck you in the face Mayweather style. If you’ve ever walked into the office with a black eye and used the old “I walked into a door” excuse, please go find help. In fact we’re sending someone to your house right now. Close this window and erase your history immediately. Hang in there buddy, we’re coming for you. | You are subscribed to email updates from feed hot actress To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
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